Feeling stuck in your grief, it’s so common. I’m asking that we, as a society, begin to normalize the vast range of complicated emotions that surround grief.
No, you don’t have to “feel better soon.”
No, there’s no one stage and then the next. The stages of grief are real, but they are fluid and far from linear.
Yes, you may feel guilty for surviving while they did not. Survivor’s guilt isn’t just for those who were perhaps involved in a fatal accident. It can apply to any kind of loss. There are no rules here.
Yes, you have the right to move into moments of joy; it does not diminish, take away from, or in any way mean that your love will lessen, your grief will lessen too quickly, or you will forget them.
I had that fear after the death of my father. If I allowed the sunshine to creep its way back into my heart, I would start to forget him. That if I started to feel human again, it would mean that somehow I loved him less.
It’s not true. He encouraged me to continue growing and expanding, from his new spirit form I could hear his voice, and that meant allowing little glimmers of happiness to breach the darkness.
It took me 3 years to feel like I was “ok” again. It doesn’t have to take you that long. Because I hear my loved ones from beyond the boundaries our minds create, and they want to help us shift into a paradigm where we can communicate freely with them. They want us to shine bright and allow the full spectrum of pain and love. Deep sadness that comes with grief, sprinkled in, are those moments of light. Where there’s light, it can only get better from there.
Much love during this holiday season. Please reach out, I’m here.
